Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fear or Faith?

Today we took an unexpected trip to Caldwell Memorial Hospital for a non-stress test. Before you get worried everything is OK but the Lord has used it to teach me more of His character and my need for Him once again.
Last night I started having some intermittent lower abdominal cramping but my uterus was not hard, therefore, I did not feel they were contractions. I went to bed and after a walk this morning was fine. However, I was checking e-mail before getting the girls up and going and started to feel the cramping again. We're 33 weeks along and considering that labor with Mary Fran pretty much felt the same, I called Carrington (our midwife). She told me to go to the hospital for a non-stress test to see if I was in labor and then we'd go from there.
Thankfully, Drew was still at home and was able to rearrange his schedule to be available. I got ready and arranged child care and we headed on. I knew Ward was OK because he was moving around in his normal pattern and a child born at 33 weeks has a very good chance of survival but I would prefer he wait a little longer. :)
I have noticed recently that the Lord has been showing me areas in my life where I am given to fear. I am going through a Bible Study right now entitled "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore and through the study and God's Word the Lord is showing me areas where strongholds exist that I never knew before. This is an answer to prayer. As I said earlier, one area is in "fear" of different things whether it be someone breaking into our house, something happening to Drew or our children, something going wrong in our pregnancy or delivery, etc. Thankfully, Daniel's life helped me realize again that a "normal" pregnancy and delivery are not givens and that truly only the Lord knows our days. I rest in His sovereignty but am also tempted to give way to fear at times. This morning the Holy Spirit reminded me that "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" 2 Timothy 1:7. I have a choice...I can let my mind wander to what "could" happen and give way to fear or I can "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and trust in the sovereignty of Him who made all of Creation. The spirit that He gives is of His power and an assurance of His love and is used for self-control. Fear has no place in my life as a believer because I have the Spirit of the Living God within me and can call on it at all times.
As I said earlier, everything is OK. Drew and I think that these symptoms were brought on by stress as my mom was put in the hospital Monday for a couple of days due to some heart issues she's been having. Again, everything is OK with her as well. The Lord has shown me that I do need to physically rest but also let my mind and spirit rest. How is that done? Psalm 62:1-2, the first piece of Scripture I memorized after becoming a believer, has the answer:
"My soul finds rest in God alone; from Him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."

1 comment:

The Baur Family said...

Glad that everything is ok with Ward and hopes he continues to "bake" for a little while longer. Take care!