Daniel

Last night as I was lying in bed I found it taking me a while to go to sleep. This, fortunately, is unusual for me but as I laid there I found myself thinking about Daniel. Daniel is our nephew, Drew's twin brother, Dustin, and his wife, Daphne's, second child. Daniel was born on January 26, 2007 and passed away 2 days later. He was the first Petrey grandson and was 5 months younger than Mary Fran keeping with the "twin thing" we have going on here (We got married 4 months apart and Evie and Ruthie are 3 months apart). I can only imagine what it has been and is like for Dustin and Daphne as they walk this road in life. It has been so encouraging and humbling to see them put one foot in front of the other and choose to continue to believe that God is God and no matter what He is still on the throne.
When I married a twin, I knew we'd all be close but I never imagined just how close. I say this with a smile because it has been and continues to be a wonderful experience. Dustin is like my other brother and it is not simply words or a nice thought to say Daphne is my sister and not so much sister-in-law. I remember driving back from Brenner's Hospital in Winston-Salem (where Daniel had been transferred after birth) and saying, "God, please take this from them. Please just give it to us and spare them this pain and agony." Although I didn't want to lose a child I didn't want them to have to experience it. Alas, God knows what He's doing and we trust in that.
Last night, I laid there and cried. I cried for my nephew who I'll never know here on earth. I long to know what his personality would be and to see how he would be with all the girls around. I ached to give him a big hug and help him think of ways to play tricks on his older, female cousins and sister. My heart broke again for Dustin and Daphne for all they have been through and how excruciatingly hard it is to lose a child. And in the middle of the tears I again felt God's grace, solitude, and most of all peace. I was reminded again by the power of the Holy Spirit that Daniel will never know sin. He will only ever know Heaven and the glory of God. I can only imagine Heaven's lullabies. The Lord gently spoke to my heart and told me once again, "I have promised to use all things for the good of those who love me and I will. My word is never broken. I know how it feels to lose a child. When all of this was happening I was there at the same place I was when my Son hung on the cross. You are not alone and neither are they. I will never leave you or forsake you because you are my child and so are they." The next thing I knew, the sun was peeking in our window.
As hard as this past 15 months plus has been on our entire family, I was reminded that He still reigns and that because Jesus hung on that cross, sin has no hold. Death is not the end for those of us who know Him. We have hope because He took it all. We will see Daniel again and spend eternity together. What an awesome God we have.

Daphne has a blog which I highly encourage anyone to read: http://www.carrythemforever.com/